Build Self Confidence


This blog has many tips on how to build self confidence. I wrote a post 20 ways to build self confidence some time back. I now find there is even a video based on an article I discussed in that post!

My main criticism remains – walking faster and sitting in the front row are rather weird suggestions and hardly likely to have the desired effect.  If you lack self confidence you will feel very self conscious sitting in the front and feel worse.  There is no guarantee you will eventually get over that and feel more confident.

Feeling the fear and doing it anyway – as in Susan Jeffers book title – doesn’t work for everyone.  If you go along this route its about coming to terms that we have learnt to feel fear and associate it with that activity.  And, unless you are short sighted or hard of hearing, what actually do you achieve by sitting in the front?

Gratitude builds self confidence

Ironically the video misses the best tip in the original article – having gratitude:-

When you focus too much on what you want, the mind creates reasons why you can’t have it. This leads you to dwell on your weaknesses. The best way to avoid this is consciously focusing on gratitude. Set aside time each day to mentally list everything you have to be grateful for. Recall your past successes, unique skills, loving relationships, and positive momentum.

build self confidence, gratitude for family

gratitude for having family

This is something I do everyday in a form of journalling.  The first step I take is to reflect upon what I have to be grateful for. This can vary from family and friends to aspects of the environment around me – the sea, forest, the crazy weather we have (can’t remember who said it, but “never judge the day by the weather…”).

This list doesn’t have to be big things, and it certainly doesn’t have to be unique.  You’ll end it constantly repeating things like your good health and the men, women and children in your life.  But don’t forget the little stuff or more obscure  – being able to hear the birds sing, being able to walk/see/taste/smell,  living in a country where I can voice my opinion/vote, watching a comedy show on TV last night.

Even the things we moan about,  such as expensive car bills, can be turned into gratitude – at least you can afford a car. Reminds me of a favourite quote:-

I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.

 





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